In Memory of Susan Denise Atkins-Whitehouse
Conqueror
During Susan's 1993 parole hearing,
one of the three Board of Prison Terms Commissioners
had asked Susan about her substance abuse when she was younger.
This was their conversation...
During Susan's 1993 parole hearing,
one of the three Board of Prison Terms Commissioners
had asked Susan about her substance abuse when she was younger.
This was their conversation...
Susan: "I started drinking when I was 18. Um.."
Commissioner: "What did you drink?"
Susan: "Grasshoppers, because it was a sweet drink"
Commissioner: "A lot?"
Susan: "A lot. Kahlua, anything that was sweet.
Singapore slings, um, any of the sweet drinks, um,
and I began to realize I was doing the same thing
my parents did, and I hated what my parents did,
and I hated what alcohol was doing to me,
and I got involved in drugs,
which didn't make any sense,
I got involved in drugs to get away from alcohol.
Um, I was introduced to marijuana by two sailors"
Commissioner: "Did you smoke a lot of marijuana?"
Susan: "Yeah, I did"
Commissioner: "And for how many years did you use it?"
Susan: "Um, from, 1966, 1966 until my incarceration"
Commissioner: "Okay, and then you used LSD..."
Susan: "I used LSD, I used methedrine, which is pure speed,
um, I used bennies, which is another form of speed,
I used cocaine, I only, I only snorted it one time,
but I would use it. I used, uh, hashish.."
Commissioner: "So at the time you were using all those drugs,
were you also involved with alcohol, or.."
Susan: "No"
Commissioner: "Okay, but you do agree that you're an alcoholic?"
Susan: "Oh yes"
Commissioner: "And what about, are you a drug addict too?"
Susan: "Oh yes"
Commissioner: "What did you drink?"
Susan: "Grasshoppers, because it was a sweet drink"
Commissioner: "A lot?"
Susan: "A lot. Kahlua, anything that was sweet.
Singapore slings, um, any of the sweet drinks, um,
and I began to realize I was doing the same thing
my parents did, and I hated what my parents did,
and I hated what alcohol was doing to me,
and I got involved in drugs,
which didn't make any sense,
I got involved in drugs to get away from alcohol.
Um, I was introduced to marijuana by two sailors"
Commissioner: "Did you smoke a lot of marijuana?"
Susan: "Yeah, I did"
Commissioner: "And for how many years did you use it?"
Susan: "Um, from, 1966, 1966 until my incarceration"
Commissioner: "Okay, and then you used LSD..."
Susan: "I used LSD, I used methedrine, which is pure speed,
um, I used bennies, which is another form of speed,
I used cocaine, I only, I only snorted it one time,
but I would use it. I used, uh, hashish.."
Commissioner: "So at the time you were using all those drugs,
were you also involved with alcohol, or.."
Susan: "No"
Commissioner: "Okay, but you do agree that you're an alcoholic?"
Susan: "Oh yes"
Commissioner: "And what about, are you a drug addict too?"
Susan: "Oh yes"
Susan continues as she tells the commissioner,
while she's not doing drugs and not drinking,
she smoked through the years,
and she "had to put that addiction away."
Susan says she also struggles with coffee,
she knows coffee's no good for her, yet she drinks coffee.
The questions continued...
while she's not doing drugs and not drinking,
she smoked through the years,
and she "had to put that addiction away."
Susan says she also struggles with coffee,
she knows coffee's no good for her, yet she drinks coffee.
The questions continued...
Commissioner: "Okay, what's the first step?"
Susan: "To admit that I am powerless over alcohol,
and powerless over drugs"
Commissioner: "And have you come to accept that?"
Susan: (nodding in agreement) "yeah.."
Commissioner: "and believe that?"
Susan: "Yeah. It's not easy, but yes..."
Susan: "To admit that I am powerless over alcohol,
and powerless over drugs"
Commissioner: "And have you come to accept that?"
Susan: (nodding in agreement) "yeah.."
Commissioner: "and believe that?"
Susan: "Yeah. It's not easy, but yes..."
From here they move on to other subject matter.
Grasshoppers, Kahlua, and Singapore slings
sound like party time,
but it wasn't much of a party for Susan,
was it.
Back in the day,
Susan's name was practically synonymous
with drug addiction.
Susan conquered her addictions.
That is a stupendous achievement-
Susan knew she was better than her addictions.
Susan knew she was more important than her addictions...
home
Grasshoppers, Kahlua, and Singapore slings
sound like party time,
but it wasn't much of a party for Susan,
was it.
Back in the day,
Susan's name was practically synonymous
with drug addiction.
Susan conquered her addictions.
That is a stupendous achievement-
Susan knew she was better than her addictions.
Susan knew she was more important than her addictions...
home