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In Memory of Susan Denise Atkins-Whitehouse

Empty Seat

In her works,
Susan chronicles how her life was becoming
increasingly more difficult while in high school.

Her taking a job helped in some ways,
but it also put more strain on Susan,
something Susan did not need.
Susan's schoolwork was also suffering significantly.
Susan says her teacher in the 11th grade
told her to go see the school's dean of women;

" 'Susan', Mrs. Edgeworth said, 'I want to talk to you
about your future.'
I sat stonily, unblinking.
'We have spoken to you about your schoolwork.
It's getting worse and worse.'
I maintained silence,
​ looking just below her eyes to make
her think I was staring her down.
'And now', she went on, 'it looks as though
you'll have to repeat your junior year next year.'

'What else is new?' 
I heard my voice speaking inside of me.
'You're nuts if you think I'm coming back here.'
But aloud, I said, 
'Quite frankly, Mrs. Edgeworth, 
I don't plan to be back next year.'
She raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips.

---

I went on.
'You see, I'll be eighteen before school starts next fall,
and I'm going to leave school to take a job'
It was her turn to be stony.
Several seconds passed in silence.

'You're making a serious mistake, Susan.
You'll regret it all your life'

For the first time I smiled, bitterly, arrogantly..."

(From Child of Satan Child of God
by Susan Atkins
​with Bob Slosser)

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(Note: "Mrs. Edgeworth" was not the real name of the Dean.
Susan changed it for her work)

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